Posted 3 days ago / 44,309 notes #ellen is awesome / Via: charliemcdonnellss

(Source: swedishbelieber)

Posted 5 days ago / 30,697 notes / Via: thehayleybreanne

riseuplikeangels:

“Wait ‘till you see movie 4. I was in it.”

WAIT ‘TILL YOU SEE MOVIE 4, I WAS IN IT.

WAIT ‘TILL YOU SEE MOVIE 4, I WAS IN IT.

WAIT ‘TILL YOU SEE MOVIE 4, I WAS IN IT.

(Source: beyondthepolice)

Posted 5 days ago / 28,232 notes / Via: taybai15
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  • -----
  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
  • The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
  • -----
  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."
Posted 5 days ago / 12,984 notes / Via: taybai15

kurtnisshummeldeen:

crown-of-weeds:

horchatita:

idontownemotion:

#here is a boy that deserves to be believed in #he’s not going to graduate and he’s dealing with how it feels to feel like a failure #and he doesn’t want to go to prom with all of those people there that always expected that of him #so he’s upset and he’s wallowing #but when he hears about how upset this girl is #instead of letting her wallow with him #he makes her prom queen #he knows how big this is #he knows how special it’ll make her feel #you can see it on his face#my favorite part of this is that not once #not ONCE #did he talk down to her #not once did he make it seem like they were anything but equals #he spoke to her like he speaks to everyone else #i’m not sure if people realize how special that is #to just be spoken to like you’re an equal when so much of the world sees you as less than that #he crowned her queen #and he helped make this girl’s night #and if you ask me doing so made his #this boy has grown up so much #i’m so proud of him #and so lucky to be his fan i swear to god #better than everyone #sorry not sorry

Puck has always been set up to be this, the TRUE unconventional success story. So he might or might not graduate, he’s a Lima loser that has nothing but small dreams and in a show like this when everyone wants to and is well on their way to being a star we see failure in him. But here is what Puck has become:

  • the most supportive of friends
  • the most grounded
  • a naturally earnestly good father despite the fact that Beth is not his legal responsibility
  •  a champion of stable relationships
  • 100% consistently honest
  • STABLE

You know everyone can go ahead and succeed in their sparkling careers in the most fictitious and unrealistic ways, but Puck accomplishes the most possible and yet difficult task: he is an amazing person, a friend, and a truly good father/paternal figure.

I’m actually really interested in how Glee dissociates success from growth. Some characters get one, some get both, and I wonder if Finchel get none.

(We’ll see. This is something to come back to after S3.)

But! What I wanted to say:

Noah Puckerman grew up into Burt Hummel.

Which, I think, means he won.

#if you become burt hummel you have won at life

(Source: andersonhummel)

Posted 3 weeks ago / 75,213 notes / Via: singing-showtunes

almost-healthy:

fitjoyforlife:

jelee-:

arixsafari:

drowninginyourl0ve:

omg yes

All of it.

^ YES

wait what this is me

hahahaha

(Source: agjesdahl)

Posted 3 weeks ago / 122,448 notes / Via: singing-showtunes

toturnonthelights:


from left to right; 
I am afraid to hold my boyfriend’s hand.
My friend’s parents sent her away.
I found death threats in my locker.
I submitted to electroshock therapy.
I lost half my friends after coming out.
My grandmother sends me hate mail.
My school won’t let me take my date to prom.
I am not here anymore.
My dad tried to beat it out of me. 
No one is proud of me.

This showed up on my blog again. Forever reblog.

toturnonthelights:

from left to right; 

I am afraid to hold my boyfriend’s hand.

My friend’s parents sent her away.

I found death threats in my locker.

I submitted to electroshock therapy.

I lost half my friends after coming out.

My grandmother sends me hate mail.

My school won’t let me take my date to prom.

I am not here anymore.

My dad tried to beat it out of me. 

No one is proud of me.

This showed up on my blog again. Forever reblog.

Posted 3 weeks ago / 1,165 notes / Via: lunaloveboob

(Source: vodka-n-wisky)

Posted 3 weeks ago / 2,749 notes / Via: burdge

fairytalemood:

art from The Last Unicorn graphic novel by Renae De Liz and Ray Dillon

Posted 3 weeks ago / 88,176 notes / Via: charliemcdonnellss
guys i find attractive
  • famous
  • taken
  • twice my age
  • not real
  • dead
  • gay
Posted 3 weeks ago / 23,589 notes #so true... #:( / Via: singing-showtunes
  • pretty girl: boyfriend
  • ugly girl: boyfriend
  • weird girl: boyfriend
  • obnoxious girl: boyfriend
  • rude girl: boyfriend
  • stupid girl: boyfriend
  • lesbian girl: girlfriend
  • dead girl: boyfriend
  • me: i had a pet fish once but then it died

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ABOUT

emeraldroses394Hi, I'm Christina. I love Harry Potter, Glee, and CSI: Las Vegas. I write fanfics and emeraldroses530 is my name on fanfiction.net, so check it out! :D

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